gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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