Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
