The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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