I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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