There is no way he is gay with that hair.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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