WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
