YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
