there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
