Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
look no pants
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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