Whod you bang
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
