my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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