it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
