I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
