The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize