Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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