Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
