The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
