You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
