The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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