my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize