My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
