Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
