I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's shark week go big or go home
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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