He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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