brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
