I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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