Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
