I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
