you will always have a special place in my vag
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
