look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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