I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
