i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
