was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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