That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
