i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
