It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
