why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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