scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
