is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
