I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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