I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
