I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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