Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
