This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
where am i from again
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
