she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
