remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize