In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
sarcasm needs its own font
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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