Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
two words: eviction party
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
