I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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