Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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