sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I cut my penus on the lid.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
