I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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