Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
