The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
