he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
